After reading a blog post by Chevy, I remembered everything. I had known that love was a choice and not just a feeling. I had known it since long ago. It was the same reason that I am still in this relationship despite getting really annoyed and irritated by the same guy I know I love. However, after reading her post, I remembered my promise — my decision.
Before I said accepted my boyfriend’s love on that August afternoon, I had done everything I can to make sure I am doing the right thing — that he is the right man.
Let me tell you our story.
I met him April 10, 2013 during our New Hire Orientation. I wasn’t looking for a relationship so I didn’t really pay him much attention. For me, he was just a future colleague. (However, he said it was love at first sight for him.)
After a few months, I was getting hints that he likes me. At some point, he wanted to stay with me even when he’s got a fever. He always eats his lunch with me instead of with the other crowd. You get the point. I didn’t want to be with him at that time as I didn’t think he was the one God wanted for me. I “friend-zoned” him. Yet, he wanted to be able to love me still. I was amazed by the guy’s determination. I began to see the little things he does for me. Then, before I knew it, I fell for him.
Come my birthday, he officially asked to court me. I didn’t actually say yes. I’d just let him do his thing. I just said, “Do whatever.” He bought me Krispy Kreme truffled donuts that day.
I still wasn’t sure of him so I asked my mom if she approves. She just told me to do what would make me happy. I contemplated for weeks. I knew this guy loves me as he shows me that he does. he was different from all the guys I dated as he actually wanted to show how much he loves me. He tolerates my drama. He accepts me for who I am but also scolds me when I am wrong. He’s interested in me.
What kept me from saying yes is the fact that I know one day, the love, the feeling of love would somehow disappear, just like it did with my past relationships. I knew he’ll eventually get tired of me, my drama and my BS. I knew.
However, when my mom told me to do what makes me happy, I knew that being in a relationship with him would make me so happy. To be able to make him feel ‘how much love I feel for him‘ would make me feel happy. That was when I decided to love him. I decided to love him even though I know he wouldn’t always be lovable.
I remember all of those now. I remember why I decided to love him in the first place — not because I wanted to feel loved but because I wanted to love him.
So when I said yes that afternoon, I had decided that I am going to love this person, no matter what. ♥
Today starts our 32nd month together. It had been a bumpy ride but since I decided to get on this train, I will enjoy the ride until we reach our destination. #Forever
I know we will always have petty fights and even relationship-threatening fights. I know he will continue to annoy me. But I know he’ll continue to choose loving me and so will I because love is a choice and WE CHOOSE OUR LOVE. ♥