I am afraid.
They don’t see it. But I find it hard to face people. At times, I don’t even want to face me.
It’s easy to say that I should go out and have fun. It’s easy to say that whatever I feel can be solved by being healthy and exercising, and going out. But the problem is, I don’t want to?
It’s funny. At times, I don’t even believe myself. I think I’m a fraud. I think maybe I’m just faking this. Maybe I’m just pretending to feel this way. I’m just joining the bandwagon that is social anxiety and depression. Maybe it’s the FOMO talking. You know, ‘coz it’s mainstream right now.
So I was browsing through my Facebook feed and came across a highlights video of the controversial Netflix show 13 Reasons Why. I am telling you, it was so heavy. I am upset and I feel stressed. I feel like a cotton ball absorbing all the things I saw. I feel so down? This incident only confirms my decision not to watch the show. It has nothing to do with the quality of the show. I’m sure it’s good. It’s so good, I’m affected even just by watching a short highlights video.
I know something is wrong with me. But I’m afraid to know exactly what.