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Irony (a poem)

You want me to open up
Then you tell me to shut up.
You ask me what’s wrong,
then tell me to just move on.

You confuse me with your care
Say you love me, you swear.
But I gotta wait when I ask for your time,
If I insist, it’s a crime.

You make me go crazy.
Your friends think I’m so clingy.
No need to be treated like a princess,
Don’t need saving, ain’t a damsel in distress.

I just want your attention,
Shower me with affection.
Show me that you really care.
Listen to me, don’t hear.

©Cari

I Shouldn’t Have Met You (a poem)

I used to seek approval for everything I do
But I was a loner nonetheless.
Then I met you.
My life changed, I confess.

Your presence and care, I craved.
You’ve made me want a piece of your soul.
Only some of it, you gave.
But somehow, you have made me whole.

Then you left.
I was broken.
Your promise unkept.
You’re never to be seen again.

I shouldn’t have met you.
I should have bid you adieu.
I should have guarded my heart, too.
I shouldn’t have met you.

©Cari

Dear Future Self

Dear Future Self,
I hope you are feeling fine.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Don’t be afraid of crossing the line.

The sense of impending doom you feel
It doesn’t really go away.
It just tucks itself away from what’s real
Then comes out some other day.

Don’t be afraid of breaking down.
It’s just yourself telling you it’s tired.
Don’t push away the meltdown.
Instead, rest and come out inspired.

Use those feelings to move yourself forward.
Don’t let it manipulate and control you.
Don’t let it make you feel cornered.
Be strong. Breathe and stay true.

©Cari

Blog 27/52 Social Anxiety and Depression

I am afraid.

They don’t see it. But I find it hard to face people. At times, I don’t even want to face me.

It’s easy to say that I should go out and have fun. It’s easy to say that whatever I feel can be solved by being healthy and exercising, and going out. But the problem is, I don’t want to?

It’s funny. At times, I don’t even believe myself. I think I’m a fraud. I think maybe I’m just faking this. Maybe I’m just pretending to feel this way. I’m just joining the bandwagon that is social anxiety and depression. Maybe it’s the FOMO talking. You know, ‘coz it’s mainstream right now.

What if?

Story time!

So I was browsing through my Facebook feed and came across a highlights video of the controversial Netflix show 13 Reasons Why. I am telling you, it was so heavy. I am upset and I feel stressed. I feel like a cotton ball absorbing all the things I saw. I feel so down? This incident only confirms my decision not to watch the show. It has nothing to do with the quality of the show. I’m sure it’s good. It’s so good, I’m affected even just by watching a short highlights video.

I know something is wrong with me. But I’m afraid to know exactly what.

Guilty Pleasure

Guilty pleasure.
That’s what you are.
You’re something I treasure,
You’re mine from afar.

Guilty pleasure.
The depth of my love
no one can measure,
but the god above.

Guilty pleasure.
Your eyes as bright as the moon,
Your lips as soft as feather,
In my life you’re a boon.

©Cari

Blog 26/52 Winter is Coming

Game of Thrones is just

around the corner.

Winter has finally came,

the long wait over.

Snow will finally find out

Wylla’s not his mother.

We’ll finally see if the gentle giant

actually became a white walker.

I have a feeling the snow will finally melt.

His life will be taken by the other.

It was on the teaser, from the lips

of ned’s oldest daughter.

 

Blog 25/52 Strength

Strength.
To go on.
To move on.
To live life like nothing’s wrong.

Waking up in the morning
Already feeling down
Left the house frowning
Feeling alone in a happy town.

Sipping my coffee,
biting my bread.
Riddled with anxiety,
Starting the day with dread.

Tell me, please.
How do you go on with life
Living it with ease
As if evil isn’t rife?

Cari ©