Blog 6/52 Getting Stuck in Traffic

Traffic in the Philippines is one of the hellish things you can experience. It doesn’t happen every time but when you encounter traffic from hell, four kilometers (2.5 miles) can take you hours. Is that just great? Pedestrians could beat you to your destination.

Even though it doesn’t seem like a big deal, it is to me. I don’t like being stuck in traffic, unless I have someone to talk to, or distract myself with. I feel claustrophobic. Since this is a humid country, getting stuck in traffic only means I have to keep my feet where they are for hours I can’t even stretch, feeling my sweat pool somewhere unreachable and knowing I’m all sticky. (This may be solved by getting a cab or my own car, but not everyone has money to spend, ya know?)

The traffic is actually one of the reasons I am working from home and why I rarely go out. I don’t go out unless I really need to. And it’s also because I fall asleep. Imagine me napping, with my mouth open and snoring in public transit. Yup. That’s me. And so I try to lessen my chances of doing that in public.

Have I mentioned that it’s very humid right now? The summer season has come and get very sweaty. Beads of sweat dripping from my face and my armpits. Not a pretty sight.

Not sure how to help solve the problem though. Reduce private cars? Create more roads? Oohh, I know. Let’s all become online workers! Jk.

What do you do when stuck in traffic?

Here’s some ideas on how to be productive when stuck in traffic.

  1. Do your assignments/homework. Unless, of course, you need several books and a calculator, then don’t. This only applies to those assignments that requires a pencil and notebook/pad. I did this when I was a student. I did my homework, while on the train home.
  2. Read a physical book. I’m making it clear that you should not do this with a phone or tablet. This is especially appropriate when you’re taking a public vehicle. It doesn’t only endanger you but those around you. It’s like you’re trying to attract snatchers and other bad elements. So I repeat, read a physical book. Like your notes, or a paperback. I used to see students reviewing their notes while on a jeep.
  3. Observe. Okay, this doesn’t mean you have to be nosy. Don’t read someone else’s phone. That’s inappropriate. I meant observing people so you’re alert and very much aware of what’s happening around you. Notice people faces, the people beside you. It’s also a way of keeping yourself safe as you’ll be ready if anything happens.

How about you? What do you think of getting stuck in traffic?

xoxo,
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Challenge Fails

Just a quarter of the year and I have already failed on almost all the challenges I took.

I haven’t finished any book yet (for the 52-books in 52 weeks challenge).

I haven’t blogged weekly (in accordance to the 2017 weekly blogging challenge).

I haven’t added anything substantial to my WIP (work-in-progress).

I basically failed on every single aspect of my writing goals. I’ve been journaling but it’s just not the same.

Oh, well. They say acknowledging the mistake is the first step.

All I can do is get back up and move forward. 

“People say that when you really love a person, you cry with them.”

People say that when you really love a person, you cry with them.

At first, I didn’t really believe that. I thought, that’s crap. Why would I cry when I can just comfort/console them?

But I recently experienced such situation, and I tell you. I really did cry.

The person I love is in pain, and I can’t do anything to stop it.

It breaks my heart to see his tears. It pains me to watch him cry in agony.

Now I understand what they meant.

All I can do is pray for the pain to go away.

Kiss the tears away and hold him till he falls asleep. ©

 

 

 

Blog 5/52 confessions of a freelancer

picture of the word doubt

Okay. So I just reconnected with an old friend. It was her birthday yesterday and after I greeted her, we talked for a while. (Also, note that I’m very happy I have her back in my friends list. 😊 Okay, long story.)

When she asked why I am working from home, I started to freak the f*ck out and threw lame excuses. I know I shouldn’t do that, but yet I did. It made me question everything again. (that’s proof of a healthy friendship though 😆 IMO)

So I talked to boyfie and asked for his help in dealing with all these feelings and doubts.

Only then did I realize that I love where I’m at right now. And that there’s nothing wrong with working from home.

And boyfie was right, too.

If I can’t accept that I really do have a job, then no one will acknowledge that I actually have a job.

You see, I’m a freelance writer/editor. People don’t see that as common so they probably think I’m a bum.

Whenever family/relatives and friends ask about my work, it makes me feel small. Like what I do isn’t legit.  I work from home, whenever I want. (Okay, maybe not. But I can definitely do it on my own time.) I get to watch YouTube videos, eat while I work, or pause and sleep when I feel like it. And the thing is, I think people has convinced me that I am doing nothing with my life. It makes me feel that I am a bum.

Whenever relatives ask why I won’t go back to teaching, I keep telling them that I don’t feel happy as a school teacher. They don’t understand. They think I’m wasting my degree and my license.

Maybe I am.

I love literature and grammar but I just am not that passionate with teaching right now. I can’t deal with kids all running about wanting to do everything else but sit on those desks. (I know there’s principles and strategies to work around that but I just can’t deal ok?)

So after having a great talk with boyfie, I realized that I am happy this way. Where I am not stressed with shitty co-workers or traffic or heat.

I also realized that just because I feel anxious or lonely, doesn’t mean something is wrong and that I have to change. I may experience some problems but that doesn’t mean I’m doomed. 

I guess I just needed to write about this so I can go back to it when I go back to doubting my job lol

My goal is to be able to work from home so that I can be with family. And I am on that path right now. So I’m good.

If you can relate to this, just remember that as long as what you’re doing leads to your goal, then you’re doing great. Repeat these words to yourself (Read: Mantra).

IF YOU’RE HAPPY, YOU’RE DOING GOOD.

Blog 3/52 Where do I spend my money?

(Week 3 of 52 Week Blogging Challenge)

When I was still a student, I spend most of my money on art supplies and stationeries. You won’t believe how many pens and actually stationery paper (plus matching envelopes) I have. I also have memo pads and notebooks that I don’t write on. I just buy them because they’re pretty.

When I started working (and eventually moving out), I lost almost all of my free time. So I spend my money on food and bills and rent. I basically became an adult. 😭😭😭

Right now, my money goes mostly to groceries, bills, rent and the occasional kitchen tools. 🤦 This is how I knew I was growing OLD. Because I’m starting to enjoy investing in products that’ll be used in the house. I’m only 23 years old but I’m in love in shopping at dollar stores and at the kitchen/home section of department stores.

Of course, I also spend some on beauty products. ♥
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I just realized I should be buying more stuff for my hobbies. lol I guess it isn’t too late to start again.

Blog 2/52 I HATE THE HEAT.

(Week 2 of the 52 Week Blogging Challenge)
Disclaimer: Living in a very humid and hot country, please let me have a pass. 😁

If I had to choose between heat and cold, I’d choose cold. I actually thought this through. I think that it’s easier to get warm than to produce ice/coldness.

Have you ever felt that you’re sweating immediately after stepping out of the shower? That’s  how hot I always feel. And my boyfriend is someone who gets cold easily. 🙄 We’re like a Yin Yang. ☯️ Well, they say opposites attract right?

It’s a good thing the Holiday season brought some chill with it. ♥
How about you? Do you love or hate the heat?

Blog 1/52 People & Things I’m Inspired by…

Okay. So this is kinda late for week 1. My apologies (and excuses. 😁) Just joined the 52-week blogging challenge yesterday so…

Honestly, I’m rarely inspired these days. And even if I do get inspired, they cool off so fast I wasn’t even able to do anything about said inspiration. But let me try to remember some of the times I was inspired. I’m sorry if this post doesn’t seem inspiring. I’ll try to make it so.

Well, there was this one picture that inspired me to write a new story. Technically it was an image of a writing prompt. SRSLY I’m not sure if I’m writing this blog correctly. 🙄

Let’s see…
I like watching YouTubers, namely Ryan Higa, Megan Batoon, Judy Travis and Dominic Sandoval. Everytime I watch them, it makes me want to start my own YT channel.

I’ll just make up for this #$%^&*() post in another time.

Thoughts on fashion and body shaming.

Disclaimer: This is basically a rant about fashion and beauty standards.

Teen Vogue Free Fashion Course

So I have enrolled on a short fee fashion course supported by Teen Vogue and The New School/Parsons (Parsons School of Design).

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The full course costs $549 which I don’t really have right now or any time in the near future 😦 so I am utilizing the free option and even though it is quite short with only 5 of the 20 modules, I’ll take what I can get. [If you have that amount, you can enroll here.]

I am writing this blog just to share my thoughts about Fashion and the said program. Please note that I have nothing against Teen Vogue or The New School/Parsons and that I appreciate the 5-module course they are giving out for free. *Also note that I haven’t finished the said modules during the time of writing.parsons_logo

 

Fashion as Art

Since I was young, fashion has been all about style for me. Fashion has been about expressing my emotions, my personality and my mood through the clothes I wear. I never had a constant style with which you can associate me. I was always wearing different styles each and every day. I may be the sporty girl today but I can be the girly girl the next day. Again, it all depends on my mood.

Fashion for me was ART.  However, as it is represented by media, they somehow imply that it is more than art. Nowadays, it makes us think that fashion has rules and that only skinny people can pull off some outfits. This concept breaks my heart. I feel like they are trying to make fashion exclusive to those who look good. I know that there are some styles that are hard to pull off but I believe that anyone who’s brave enough to not care what the world thinks is beautiful. Yes, brave is beautiful. 

Fashion is knowing what clothes make you feel powerful and confident. Fashion expressing yourself by owning those looks and making it reflect you. Fat people can’t wear crop tops? NOPE. Ask Tess Holliday. #NoToBodyShaming

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Credit: Courtesy of E! Online

The world’s beauty standards have been compromised. I am not saying that being fat is healthy, because I won’t be able to tell as I am not a doctor. HOWEVER, saying that someone isn’t beautiful or that they must stop wearing what they want to just because they are fat, is just a no-no.

*Currently, I’ll admit I haven’t been feeling good about my body. I’ve been asked more than a few times if I was pregnant just because I have belly flab. I just laugh it off but I am getting hurt. People think I should lose weight but it isn’t easy. People always notice my fats and call me out on it as if I don’t notice them myself. I feel disgusted every time I see myself in the mirror. You don’t have to remind me how fat I am. I envy those who have fats but are very confident about themselves.

Fashion Design Career Dreams

After watching a couple of videos from the module, I realized that even if I wanted to be a fashion designer, I may not be able to break through. I’d love creating my own clothes and bags but since I think fashion is art, I know only a few people will appreciate it. Fashion is art and art is subjective. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” remember? Only the creator/maker can see how beautiful his creation is. I will probably not appreciate the “comments” of the judges is I were to join Project Runway. I see the clothes I’ll make as my baby. I think my baby is beautiful and anyone who thinks otherwise be damned. (Did you get my analogy? Hope so.)


Told you it was a rant. Let’s hope I can post another how-to article soon. 😀 

 

 

 

How to Quit Your Job

I have been wanting to quit my job since last year, and I can’t seem to be able to do so. Not until I read, a post about “just quitting”. After reading that article, I did a little thinking. I prayed and I meditated on it.

And I finally made up my mind and just quit. After I did, there was a sense of relief as if a dagger sticking out my throat had been removed. The depression and anxiety didn’t go entirely but I can feel it lessened.

Today is my last day and I feel so good. I feel free. So how did I find the courage to quit?

1. Meditate on why you want to quit.

Know your reasons. Is quitting the only way to solve your problems? In my case, it’s like God had given me a way out as my partner decided to work and I’ll be the one to stay at home.

I was being bullied at work. Plus,  I am not a very social person. Quitting my job gave me the chance to do online jobs where I do not need to socialize a lot. Plus, I get the freedom to continue running our bakery business.

Whatever your reasons are, make sure you are headed to a better direction. You do not want to be impulsive. Plan it out.

2. Discuss your options with someone you trust.

I am so blessed to have my partner support me in this.

I was so afraid of quitting because I know I needed to eat. I needed to work so I can provide for myself. However, every time I think about quitting, I panic as I know I don’t have any savings as my safety net if I did. He helped me be kinder to myself as he knows I’m on the edge of burnout.

My point is, talk to someone you trust (better if it’s your parents or your partner) and discuss your feelings. Tell them why you want to quit and what you plan to do. What is stopping you from doing so. I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to help you figure things out.

3. Decide when you want to do it.

Once you decide when to quit, trust me, you’ll feel the difference. After handing in my letter, some of the anxiety I have been feeling faded. Hope was bursting from me. I finally had a goal instead of endless days of going to the same old routine of a job.

Even though you aren’t going to quit soon, if you want to, set a date when you’ll finally do it. Set a date when your savings should be enough. Set a goal and make sure it’s achievable.

4. Just quit.

When your set time has come, print the letter, sign it and hand it over. Free yourself from your boring routine and start chasing your dream.

If you want to be a writer, everything you do must be leaning towards being a writer. Showcase your writing skills even if you are just sending an email to your client. If you want to be a chef, everything you do must be helping you become one. When you cook, practice doing what chefs do. Wear a toque if you like. Just make it happen.


I hope I was able to help you with my story. Feel free to share as well as like and follow! ♥