Blog 6/52 Getting Stuck in Traffic

Traffic in the Philippines is one of the hellish things you can experience. It doesn’t happen every time but when you encounter traffic from hell, four kilometers (2.5 miles) can take you hours. Is that just great? Pedestrians could beat you to your destination.

Even though it doesn’t seem like a big deal, it is to me. I don’t like being stuck in traffic, unless I have someone to talk to, or distract myself with. I feel claustrophobic. Since this is a humid country, getting stuck in traffic only means I have to keep my feet where they are for hours I can’t even stretch, feeling my sweat pool somewhere unreachable and knowing I’m all sticky. (This may be solved by getting a cab or my own car, but not everyone has money to spend, ya know?)

The traffic is actually one of the reasons I am working from home and why I rarely go out. I don’t go out unless I really need to. And it’s also because I fall asleep. Imagine me napping, with my mouth open and snoring in public transit. Yup. That’s me. And so I try to lessen my chances of doing that in public.

Have I mentioned that it’s very humid right now? The summer season has come and get very sweaty. Beads of sweat dripping from my face and my armpits. Not a pretty sight.

Not sure how to help solve the problem though. Reduce private cars? Create more roads? Oohh, I know. Let’s all become online workers! Jk.

What do you do when stuck in traffic?

Here’s some ideas on how to be productive when stuck in traffic.

  1. Do your assignments/homework. Unless, of course, you need several books and a calculator, then don’t. This only applies to those assignments that requires a pencil and notebook/pad. I did this when I was a student. I did my homework, while on the train home.
  2. Read a physical book. I’m making it clear that you should not do this with a phone or tablet. This is especially appropriate when you’re taking a public vehicle. It doesn’t only endanger you but those around you. It’s like you’re trying to attract snatchers and other bad elements. So I repeat, read a physical book. Like your notes, or a paperback. I used to see students reviewing their notes while on a jeep.
  3. Observe. Okay, this doesn’t mean you have to be nosy. Don’t read someone else’s phone. That’s inappropriate. I meant observing people so you’re alert and very much aware of what’s happening around you. Notice people faces, the people beside you. It’s also a way of keeping yourself safe as you’ll be ready if anything happens.

How about you? What do you think of getting stuck in traffic?

xoxo,
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Challenge Fails

Just a quarter of the year and I have already failed on almost all the challenges I took.

I haven’t finished any book yet (for the 52-books in 52 weeks challenge).

I haven’t blogged weekly (in accordance to the 2017 weekly blogging challenge).

I haven’t added anything substantial to my WIP (work-in-progress).

I basically failed on every single aspect of my writing goals. I’ve been journaling but it’s just not the same.

Oh, well. They say acknowledging the mistake is the first step.

All I can do is get back up and move forward. 

Blog 5/52 confessions of a freelancer

picture of the word doubt

Okay. So I just reconnected with an old friend. It was her birthday yesterday and after I greeted her, we talked for a while. (Also, note that I’m very happy I have her back in my friends list. 😊 Okay, long story.)

When she asked why I am working from home, I started to freak the f*ck out and threw lame excuses. I know I shouldn’t do that, but yet I did. It made me question everything again. (that’s proof of a healthy friendship though 😆 IMO)

So I talked to boyfie and asked for his help in dealing with all these feelings and doubts.

Only then did I realize that I love where I’m at right now. And that there’s nothing wrong with working from home.

And boyfie was right, too.

If I can’t accept that I really do have a job, then no one will acknowledge that I actually have a job.

You see, I’m a freelance writer/editor. People don’t see that as common so they probably think I’m a bum.

Whenever family/relatives and friends ask about my work, it makes me feel small. Like what I do isn’t legit.  I work from home, whenever I want. (Okay, maybe not. But I can definitely do it on my own time.) I get to watch YouTube videos, eat while I work, or pause and sleep when I feel like it. And the thing is, I think people has convinced me that I am doing nothing with my life. It makes me feel that I am a bum.

Whenever relatives ask why I won’t go back to teaching, I keep telling them that I don’t feel happy as a school teacher. They don’t understand. They think I’m wasting my degree and my license.

Maybe I am.

I love literature and grammar but I just am not that passionate with teaching right now. I can’t deal with kids all running about wanting to do everything else but sit on those desks. (I know there’s principles and strategies to work around that but I just can’t deal ok?)

So after having a great talk with boyfie, I realized that I am happy this way. Where I am not stressed with shitty co-workers or traffic or heat.

I also realized that just because I feel anxious or lonely, doesn’t mean something is wrong and that I have to change. I may experience some problems but that doesn’t mean I’m doomed. 

I guess I just needed to write about this so I can go back to it when I go back to doubting my job lol

My goal is to be able to work from home so that I can be with family. And I am on that path right now. So I’m good.

If you can relate to this, just remember that as long as what you’re doing leads to your goal, then you’re doing great. Repeat these words to yourself (Read: Mantra).

IF YOU’RE HAPPY, YOU’RE DOING GOOD.

Thoughts on fashion and body shaming.

Disclaimer: This is basically a rant about fashion and beauty standards.

Teen Vogue Free Fashion Course

So I have enrolled on a short fee fashion course supported by Teen Vogue and The New School/Parsons (Parsons School of Design).

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The full course costs $549 which I don’t really have right now or any time in the near future 😦 so I am utilizing the free option and even though it is quite short with only 5 of the 20 modules, I’ll take what I can get. [If you have that amount, you can enroll here.]

I am writing this blog just to share my thoughts about Fashion and the said program. Please note that I have nothing against Teen Vogue or The New School/Parsons and that I appreciate the 5-module course they are giving out for free. *Also note that I haven’t finished the said modules during the time of writing.parsons_logo

 

Fashion as Art

Since I was young, fashion has been all about style for me. Fashion has been about expressing my emotions, my personality and my mood through the clothes I wear. I never had a constant style with which you can associate me. I was always wearing different styles each and every day. I may be the sporty girl today but I can be the girly girl the next day. Again, it all depends on my mood.

Fashion for me was ART.  However, as it is represented by media, they somehow imply that it is more than art. Nowadays, it makes us think that fashion has rules and that only skinny people can pull off some outfits. This concept breaks my heart. I feel like they are trying to make fashion exclusive to those who look good. I know that there are some styles that are hard to pull off but I believe that anyone who’s brave enough to not care what the world thinks is beautiful. Yes, brave is beautiful. 

Fashion is knowing what clothes make you feel powerful and confident. Fashion expressing yourself by owning those looks and making it reflect you. Fat people can’t wear crop tops? NOPE. Ask Tess Holliday. #NoToBodyShaming

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Credit: Courtesy of E! Online

The world’s beauty standards have been compromised. I am not saying that being fat is healthy, because I won’t be able to tell as I am not a doctor. HOWEVER, saying that someone isn’t beautiful or that they must stop wearing what they want to just because they are fat, is just a no-no.

*Currently, I’ll admit I haven’t been feeling good about my body. I’ve been asked more than a few times if I was pregnant just because I have belly flab. I just laugh it off but I am getting hurt. People think I should lose weight but it isn’t easy. People always notice my fats and call me out on it as if I don’t notice them myself. I feel disgusted every time I see myself in the mirror. You don’t have to remind me how fat I am. I envy those who have fats but are very confident about themselves.

Fashion Design Career Dreams

After watching a couple of videos from the module, I realized that even if I wanted to be a fashion designer, I may not be able to break through. I’d love creating my own clothes and bags but since I think fashion is art, I know only a few people will appreciate it. Fashion is art and art is subjective. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” remember? Only the creator/maker can see how beautiful his creation is. I will probably not appreciate the “comments” of the judges is I were to join Project Runway. I see the clothes I’ll make as my baby. I think my baby is beautiful and anyone who thinks otherwise be damned. (Did you get my analogy? Hope so.)


Told you it was a rant. Let’s hope I can post another how-to article soon. 😀 

 

 

 

On grabbing opportunities.

When opportunity presents itself, you must grab that b*tch it immediately.

Yesterday, as I have told you, I had the urge to finally add some chapters to my stagnant novel. However, since I had to proofread a set of scripts, I wasn’t able to.

And today, as I tried to bring it back, it won’t. The opportunity has passed. 😦

Here’s the thing with opportunities.

When I was younger, I had these books where there are comics that teach moral lessons. I remember the one with the guy named “Opportunity.” He has very long hair in the front but is bald in the back of his head. The lesson was, if he passes you, you must grab him by his long hair because if you miss your chance, you’ll never be able to catch him as he doesn’t have hair in the back of his head for you to use to grab him.

I regret not having grabbed the opportunity. I had been waiting for it for years. I lost it all because of hesitance. I wasn’t sure if I could finish the proofreading on time so I did it first. If I had tried to write first before doing whatever else I did, I may have added some significant amount to my future book. Is this too drama for a missed urge?

If opportunity ever passes in front of you, grab his hair and drag him to where you need him to be. Don’t hesitate especially if you had been waiting for it since who knows how long. Take that opportunity and make the most out of it! 

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About writing urges.

I don’t know why, but this afternoon, I just had this urge to write and continue my novel.

I wanna take advantage of it but I need to finish proofreading a transcript.

Hopefully, I’ll be able to finish said transcript tonight as I really want to write.

This is the first time in years that I felt this urge to write. FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER I WANT TO ADD CONTENT TO MY NOVEL.

I must take this opportunity to add more chapters. My novel had been stuck in the third chapter for 3 years now. I have edited and proofread it but haven’t really added much until today.

I must go and defeat writer’s block! Wish me luck and pray for me. 🙂

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Cari Adventures: Woman with Vision Event

7:25 am, Friday, 2/19/16

In line of following my dreams and living life to the fullest, I am trying to go out more and learn more. So, attending the community event of Belle de Jour Power Planner is part of that plan. On Saturday, February 20, 2016, I’ll be going to Cubao, Gateway and attend this event alone. Hopefully, I’ll be able to make a friend or two. 😉

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Plus, their theme totally meets my need right now! I’m a woman with a vision and their topics will surely pull me out of my rut.

I’ll be updating this post as the day progresses. See you!

Saturday, February 20, 2016

12:20PM

So I am supposed to meet Joyce of *insert blog here* but she haven’t replied yet. I hate that I am such an socially awkward person.

12:33PM

The BDJ@10 veterans night pics and vids just flashed. I feel out of place again. I am not really active with these kind of things and I do not intend to be. I feel bad though. I feel like I could be much more i only I choose to. However, I do not want to. I am happy being like this. Not blogging to much about the event itself because I know a lot of other “bellas” would be doing the same thing. I feel like it is spamming the blog sites. I want to be unique about this. (And also, the main camera of my phone is busted so selfies only hehe)

So they gave us this cards that says “I COMMIT TO COMMIT” and told us we need to write something soon because they’ll collect it afterwards.
I wrote:
– to blogging and keep updating it
– believing in myself and pursuing to better myself
– to take life step by step
– to being a faithful partner

1:15PM

After a game, now’s a raffle. I didn’t get one.

1:50 PM

Omehra Sigahne just finished her talk. However, instead of being inspired, I feel bad. It’s not that she isn’t good or anything, I just feel intimidated.
When asked what to do with negative people, she recommended cutting them off, make excuses to change the subject, and just blessing them. I wasn’t able to ask about being the negative person. What if I was the pessimistic one?

2:04 PM

Patricia “Rica” Yulo just proved my greatest fear about traveling solo. She was chased by Srilankan guys. I can never go out because of that kind of thing. I am not really a fan of traveling. I’m good. I can travel with someone why the need to be alone?
I respect “Rica” for overcoming her illness. She became fearless and stepped outside of her comfort zone.
However, we don’t really need to do exactly what she did. I still believe in making my own dreams and my own story.
I appreciate that she mentioned that people don’t need to be pressured by the travel bloggers.

Note: She made a hash about the Pacman vs. LGBTQ. *facepalm*

Random Question: Why are all/most inspirational book authors ask us to “cut down on unnecessary expenses/unneeded wants”? But you know what I think? We have different priorities. We don’t have to cut down on exactly the same things.

Trivia: Rica Yulo wore a gun vest to Singapore so she didn’t need to bring a bag.

3:25PM

Lia Laroya is sharing about “the challenge that saves”.
“When money becomes your master, it would be harder to use it. But if you become the master of money, it is a great servant.”

iDentify: own millionaire meaning

Have a millionaire mindset. What things make you a millionaire? What things would make you a millionaire?

iNcrease: your income

Lia mentioned 4 ways to increase your income.
1. Promotion – if you’re employed, this is an approach to getting more income. Work your ass off and get promoted. However, even though this means more money, this may also mean more responsibilities.

2. Part-time active – Get an online job. Be a virtual assistant, write niche articles, design websites. This is noted as active since you only get paid if you get a project.

3. Part-time passive – This is noted as passive as you only need to invest your effort and time in the first part. With blogging, you get more income through sponsorship and probably through ads on your site. You can also start writing a book and get more income through royalty fees.

4. Proprietorship – This means you can get more income by selling products and service online or otherwise. Basically, running your own business.

iTemize: plan your #BOTD

1. Have a #Budget of the Day. Having a budget would help you stop spending on unnecessary items.

2. Know your net worth. – Your net worth is equal to your assets minus your expenses. So even though your salary is PHP20,000 if your expenses plus credit card bills amounts to more than your income, you’ll still get a negative net worth.

Trick to staying within your budget: Get your hourly rate.

(My battery is almost dead. Maybe live blogging is a bad idea. Haha!) This meant that when you are tempted to buy an expensive item and you are not sure if you should, get your hourly rate and compute how many hours of your life does the item costs.

Example:

Monthly Salary = PHP20,000
Monthly Work Hours = 160
Item Price = PHP1,500

Divide monthly salary by the monthly work hours to get your hourly rate.
PHP20, 000/160hours = PHP125 per hour

Now, divide the item price with your hourly rate.
PHP1,500/PHP125 = 12 work hours

The item you want to purchase costs 12 hours of your work life. Now you can decide if the item is worth it.

iNsure: Have an emergency fund.

This fund should amount to 5-6 months of expenses.

iNvest: Income less Savings equals Expenses.

To make sure you have money to invest/save, less your planned amount first. The remaining money would be the amount to allot for expenses.

NOTE:For the last speaker, I’ll try to make a separate blog about her talk and what I thought of it.

 

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Thanks Joyce for taking the picture. 🙂

 

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Rants About Failure

We all experience failure. The difference is how we deal with it. When I failed to get the job I wanted (or failed to get at least one of them), I tried to find an alternative route. As the saying goes, “If plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters.”

After graduating college, (I majored in English Education) I realized I don’t really want to just teach. I know I will never be satisfied by being just a teacher. It wasn’t one of my dream jobs.  I wanted something else — a profession where I would love to go to work everyday, a career where I get challenged everyday, a job where I can do what I love to do.

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Also, I was devastated knowing that there are limited jobs available for me especially since I don’t even have the required background and experience. I knew I had to get a job. I needed to support myself.

Then, I realized I cannot get my dream job. Why? It’s because I have a lot of dream jobs. Achieving all of them meant having myself split into multiple bodies or providing mediocre effort. I wanted to be a novelist, an artist, a movie director, a dancer, a movie actress, an entrepreneur, an event planner, a blogger, a YouTuber — the list will probably just go on. I’ll be spreading myself too thin. Although, I know that I can probably achieve all those things if I try hard enough. The question is, “Can I provide the best in all of those endeavors?” The answer will most likely be NO.

So, I got a job… in a different industry. I wanted to explore and see what would make me happy. I got into customer service and worked a year there. I learned a lot from the experience but my heart wasn’t there. I changed jobs.

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via Skype

I am now a data processor. I know. Another desk job. My heart wasn’t in it. But instead of quitting, I used my free time to delve into the things I love doing. I realized I have to develop at least the basic skills to achieve my dreams.

What did I do? I started small.  I uploaded a fake makeup tutorial video on Youtube. I started to blog again. I volunteered to be a coordinator at an event (which I got nothing out of BTW lol). I started to write a novel (which I haven’t finished until now). Without hurrying, I am trying to get to where I want to be at. I know that nothing can hinder me from achieving my dreams if I just push myself. Well, honestly, giving my best on something I don’t love is hard. I may not be able to be the best in that certain field but I know I gave my best and that’s what is important.

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The thing is I FAILED but I DON’T CARE. I’ll still keep trying.

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Diary Entry #1: What makes your *best friend* your best friend?

Author’s note: Wow. Thanks for the pitch Journey app. *eye rolls*

First of all, I don’t have a best friend anymore. I lost her around 9 months ago. We had a fallout. She didn’t understand my life choices anymore. She said she doesn’t support my choices and she didn’t want to be around when those choices backfire.

I was hurt so I pushed her away. I may have some fault in this. I’m sorry but knowing that the person who I thought would have my back turned out to be the one person who actually is judging me… it hurts man.

Even if my choices were wrong, she didn’t have to judge me. She was my BFF. How could she say those things? If I were her, I’d be scolding me too but I won’t say those awful words. I won’t leave her or even think about breaking up. I just don’t understand why she did that. It’s actually funny that she had a new BFF on her workplace (let’s call her BFF#2) who made the same mistake as I did but she didn’t judge BFF#2. They’re still BFFs. We were BFFs for almost 6 years. However, that did not matter apparently. She wanted us to always meet up like she and BFF#2 does and I can’t commit because I had moved residence and was a bit far from her and the bitch BFF#2 is her coworker. Of course, they’ll have plenty of time together. Is it really my fault? I tried to FB chat and text her all the time but of course, that isn’t enough. She need my shoulder to be physically there so she can cry on them. It just isn’t fair.

I know I should move on from this shit but boy is it hard. *sigh*

So to answer the stupid question, a “best-friend” is a best friend because s/he is the best amongst all of your friends. The one who is there even when no one else is. S/he’ll stay your BFF even if you weren’t able to talk for years. Friendship isn’t measured on how much time you spent together but how you stay strong even if life separates you. The one who won’t let life get in the way of loving and supporting each other.

Have you ever lost a friend? Any tips on how to move on?

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