Blog 18/52 Favorite Foods

Because I am on my period and am craving for my fave foods.

1. Pretzels
Bavaria, blur, bread

I love how they smell, especially when freshly baked. And those dips. Smiling Face With Heart-Eyes on Messenger 1.0

2. Refrigerated Cake

baked cheesecake, berries, cake

I love that every bite is sweet and cold. It’s like combining cake and ice cream. Shortcake on Messenger 1.0

3. Rice (Especially Fried or Garlic Rice)

chicken, close-up, cooking

I guess this comes from being Asian, or maybe because Filipinos love rice. Cooked Rice on emojidex 1.0.24 I eat like 3-4 cups of rice per meal. My belly is proof. Face With Tears of Joy on Messenger 1.0

4. Chocolate Chip Cookies

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I can finish a whole box in one seating. Cookie on Facebook 2.0

5. Potatoes

Free stock photo of food, bowl, macro, french fries

Be it fries, hash brown, chips, mojos, or mashed potato, I’ll eat it!

Crossroads

I feel that right now, I’m at a crossroads. I see an opportunity to apply as a part-time English teacher. I’m hesitant to take it because I really don’t want to teach. I have my dream job right now which is to be an editor.

I’m currently a freelance editor, and business is okay. Not THAT successful but not bad either. I mean, it’s already a business. It’s just that I wanna expand and I’m not sure how?

Maybe I should hire a marketing staff? Or learn about marketing? I want more clients but I need more writers. But writers want higher salary, which I cannot give yet as I don’t have many clients. It just goes around in a circle.

I want to be able to offer a more competitive pay, but I’m not capable yet. So I’m not sure how to deal with that.

I feel guilty being interested in applying for the job as it feels like I’m betraying myself. I only want to earn more.

 

 

Blog 17/52 A Mother’s Love (Poem)

A poem about a mother's love.

others show love in different ways

nd some more than others, because they also have bad days.

esting and taking a day off isn’t an option in this job.

ou’ll understand when you’re a mother too, she says.

aring for us without asking for anything in return, tomorrow or now.

ven willing to give up their share, so that we can eat the full meal.

oving us in their own way — the only way they know how

 

Happy Mother’s Day to every mother out there. ♥

Blog 16/52 The Past

I’ve been thinking about my “past” for a few days now. Things I did when I was a kid (like literally 5 – 12 years old), that are so embarrassing, so wrong, or just plain irrational. Or the things that happened in my teenage years. I have a lot of demons. Some I face, some I run from.

Alice Cooper Riverdale Season 1 Finale Quote
Alice Cooper (to Betty), Riverdale, S1E13: Chapter Thirteen: The Sweet Hereafter

Despite it all, I can’t change what has already occurred. Even if I get my hands on a time machine, I can’t change them as it may change the life I have now. I’ve always said that I stand by the things I do. As I won’t do them if I don’t believe in them. Yet, these things I did, bring me shame and guilt.

It’s hard to let go of it. Of all the guilt (and shame). I try but it ain’t easy. So how do we let go of the past?

IHMO, it should start with the truth.

Fred Andrews Quote 1

I loved this quote from #Daddy Fred Andrews. You have to be honest with yourself and with others. You must free yourself from lies so that it doesn’t overwhelm you. Stop lying and start living with the truth.

And then, face the past. Come clean and try to admit everything. Even just to yourself.

Here’s another quote from Fred Andrews that relates to me so much.

Fred Andrews (to Archie), Riverdale, S1E2: Chapter Two: A Touch of Evil

I agree with Fred. To make sure you don’t have to run from your past, you have to face it head on. No matter what the cost, the truth will always be worth it in the end. 

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Blog 15/52 On the inside

all this darkness I try to hide
all these buried demons
keep coming back no matter how I tried
no time to make lemonades from lemons

there’s nothing to do but cry
i come up for air
but i get greeted by
life that’s never fair

there’s no point complaining
this world is my chrysalid
stop being a bitch and the whining
like my feelings were never valid

‘man it up and be tough’
always the advice, usually unsolicited
so i cry on the inside and thus the curtain goes up
the possibilities are unlimited.

the world becomes my stage
as i try to pretend i’m okay
even though it’s really my cage
on the inside i decay.

Flashbacks and Panic Attacks [100th post]

The last time I had a panic attack, it was the first time it had felt that intense. I was literally doing a facedesk. I was afraid of what I was doing yet I can’t stop myself from doing so. It’s like I had an out-of-body experience. It was unnerving. I was bawling my eyes out and was very afraid of what I might do.

I wanted to share about it immediately after it happened, but I felt like this kind of things are taboo. That if I tell people, friends and family, that I’m experiencing this, they’ll think I’m crazy or that I’m making it up. I feel like they will tell me to tough it up and just not think about it. Thinking about it now, it seems like just paranoia.

To be honest, I don’t know what is happening. I’m not sure what to think about it. At one point, I was asking myself if I was faking it. On the other hand, I knew I didn’t. Then, earlier today, I was talking to my cousin and I just became very emotional and cried. #WTFisWrongWithMe

Then, I just felt very detached and I just wanted to lie down and cry and eat. I mean, is this PMS?

 

Blog 14/52 Favorite Music

Spotify

My taste in music is pretty random. I’m not really a hipster, though. I just listen to music I like, whether it’s mainstream or not.

1. Ashley Tisdale

I’ve always loved Ashley’s sound. There’s something about her voice that just resonates with me. Here are some of her songs and covers that I absolutely adore.

Chris French’s voice is also perfect and you can’t just stop falling in love with it.

Just heard this last night it was AMAZIIIINNNGGGGGG Smiling Face With Heart-Eyes on EmojiOne 3.0

This one’s with another fave voices of mine, Vanessa Hudgens.

The song that I have sang a hundred times in high school:

I also loved her vocals here:

And how vulnerable this song sounds:

Before this turns into an Ashley Tisdale playlist, let’s move on.

2. Dawin’s Sidekick

This song just makes me wanna dance. I’m putting the video where I first found it.

3. Little Mix

This is the first song of theirs I listened to. And fell in love with.

Love this very danceable song.

4. Miley Cyrus

I loved Miley since her Hannah Montana days. (And I’m very happy that she decided to go back to her roots.) Whatever she look like, I can’t deny that her voice is just so powerful.

Her cover of “Don’t Dream It’s Over” sung with Ariana Grande is just soulful. Smiling Face With Heart-Eyes on EmojiOne 3.0

This song was one of those that helped me through the downs.

5. Bruno Mars

Another one of the feel good songs I listen to.

His latest song makes me wanna dance too.

And this one is great too.

6. Jessie J’s Who You Are

I listen to this song when I need a pick-me-up.

Blog 13/52 Learning a New Language

I think that our minds are destined/scientifically wired to learn new things everyday. And so, I feel like I need to at least learn something new each day.

Learning a new language is difficult. I’m lucky that I learned English as a kid so it comes naturally to me now. I can say that I’m fluent in English. But my mind wants more. It wants to learn more. We all have that craving for new information. When we gossip, it’s because our brains crave for new information. Why not channel that craving into something healthier?

Here’s some languages you can learn online:

1. Spanish

Being a previous colony of the Spaniards, the Filipino language have a lot in common with the Spanish language. Which makes it easier to learn.

You can check out FutureLearn as they teach basic spanish free, or you can look for language apps in the App Store. Real Fast Spanish have a free 5-step course for you to learn Spanish easy.

2. French

We all know that French is the sexiest language. However, it may be one of the hardest languages to learn. You can look online for free language courses. You can also visit BBC’s site where they give free basic online lessons.

3. Japanese

You don’t need to be an Otaku to learn Nihongo. Clayton McKnight’s website aims to help us learn the Japanese language easiest way.

*You may also install the app Duolingo where several languages are being taught, or visit their website at https://www.duolingo.com/. 

4. Code

Of course, you can leave out this new language — the language of programming. There are many online sites that offer free (as well as premium) tutorial services for beginners like us.

There’s SkillCrush, Code.org, SkillShare, CodeCademy and a whole lot more.

You can also visit CodeSkulptor and PythonTutor. (Thanks Dina! Smiling Face With Smiling Eyes on EmojiOne 3.0)

5. Music

This includes singing and dancing as well as playing instruments. There’s a lot of free tutorials that can be found at YouTube. If you have money to spend, you can signup at Udemy where hundreds of people are aching to teach music and dance.


What language are you gonna learn today?

Blog 12/52 How to Celebrate Your Birthday (the affordable way)

Girl with birthday balloons

So that rhymes… Smiling Face With Open Mouth & Closed Eyes on EmojiOne 3.0 Moving on…

My birthday is coming soon… Well, in about a month. Next month. I know I’m too excited but I just feel that this year’s birthday needs to be celebrated with something special. However, the thing is, I’m broke as !@#$. So I have to think of other ways to make it special. In the process, I wanna share the things I came up with.

1. Bake your own cake.

If you’re the type who knows how to bake (or at least cook), you should try making your own cake. Heck, if you love cake then DO IT!

Even if you don’t have an oven, you can try baking with your rice cooker. Here’s one I found in YouTube.

2. Have a Potluck Party with friends.

If you’re the type to party, then this one’s for you. Since you’re broke, you can ask friends to bring something for the party. And to make sure no one’s gonna bring the same thing more than twice, write down the stuff you think you’ll need for the party. And then assign them to those you’ll be inviting. You can also tell them that if they forgot to bring something, just buy some snacks or drinks to get past the door.

You provide the venue, they provide the booze and the food. Win-win! Thumbs Up on emojidex 1.0.24

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Just in case you don’t have a clue on what to ask your friends to bring, here are some:

  • Guitar (or any instrument) – So that you guys can jam!
  • Ice – It’s not a bad idea to have so much ice. You’ll never have too much ice.
  • Bread – You can make sandwiches, DIY pizzas, and toasts so make sure to ask them to bring some spreads, sauces and toppings too.
  • Junk food such as chips and popcorn – Because.
  • Sodas and Booze.
  • Dessert – You can ask them to bring cupcakes, chocolate bars and candies!
  • Cheese – You can do a lot of things with cheese.
  • Eggs – You can cook it in a lot of ways. Also, have you tried deviled eggs? Yum!
  • Frozen Pizza – for when you just want to be done with it.
  • Cake-mix – Or a brownie mix.
  • A pot of guacamole or some other dip.
  • Instant noodles – instant Ramen is also nice. Smiling Face With Open Mouth & Closed Eyes on EmojiOne 3.0

Of course, there are more possible things your friends can bring. You can also ask your friends what they are willing to bring.

3. Schedule a visit to your parents.

I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to take you out on your birthday. Unless, you had a fallout, then you can go and make amends. That would be a nice way to spend your day.

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4. Participate in a marathon.

Okay, I meant a streaming marathon.

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If you prefer to spend your day indoors, probably with your SO or your BFF, and watch Netflix. If you don’t already have an account, ask a friend to lend you their account for a day. It’s your birthday after all. They’ll probably let you.

There’s a ton of shows available on Netflix and I’m sure you’ll be able to finish some of the TV series in a day. I have. Winking Face on EmojiOne 3.0

5. Sleep in.

Last, but not the least, sleeping in with your SO. This is the only day when you can’t be shamed for sleeping. It is your day. You can do whatever the F you want to do with it.

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Got more to add? Tell me in the comments? Smiling Face With Smiling Eyes on EmojiOne 3.0

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